Adrian and ?
by Primrue
Summary: There's no more Adrian and Rose. Now it's Adrian and...?
1. Adrian and the beginning after the end

_**A/N: **__**Hi, everyone! This is my first story to be published here, so AH! I'm pretty nervous!  
This is about Adrian and his life right after Last Sacrifice.  
ENJOY!**_

~o~0~o~

The pain and nausea woke me up. My head was throbbing, affected by the gallons of alcohol I'd consumed a couple hours ago. My vision became clearer as I blinked away the sleep I'd been under.

The room was bright, giving me an even better look at the trashed condition it was in. Chairs had been tipped (or thrown) over. Tiny feathers had emerged from the pillows when being ripped apart and covers that now covered the vomit-stained floor instead of the bed.

And a girl. A dhampir. Who I, by the way, had no memory of inviting in to my room. Her half naked body was covered by the blankets and she seemed just as out of it as I'd been less than a minute ago. 'Oh well', I thought_. '__Seems like it's been just like any other Tuesday_.' Careful not to wake her up, I slid out of the room and into the hallway.

It was still bright outside, but that made it so much better to sneak out while everybody else was asleep. Heading towards my own room in another building at Court, I couldn't help to think that no one would actually be surprised to see me like this. After all, Rose had made it perfectly clear that that was how I was: A drunken, smoking, good-for-nothing wimp.

Bitterness made its way through the haziness of my mind that the alcohol had created. I remembered it all. How Rose had told me she loved me, but still loved someone else. How she had looked down on me and my faults, but denied it. How she'd betrayed me, breaking promises and lying about her feelings.

'And how she apparently didn't want someone who wasn't perfect like Dimitri Belikov.'More bitterness filled my mind, as well as anger. '_Like she were some kind of freaking saint herself, that betraying little blood who-' _Immediately, I stopped my train of thought before finishing that sentence in my head. It had formed out of itself because of my anger at her, but spirit also lay behind it. Sure, my feelings of disgust and resentment towards her were no secret, nor did I deny them. But even in my head, those thoughts seemed dangerous.

My hands searched instinctively through my pockets and produced a cigarette and a lighter. While exhaling the toxic smoke, I thought back to the days where whenever I'd done that, that little dhampir's eyes would always look at me disapprovingly. Again, bitterness at how she'd judged others without even looking in the mirror, emerged, but this time I managed to push them away before it getting out of hand.

Well inside in my building, while passing the guardians and heading towards my own room, a lump of curly hair caught my attention. I headed towards the little fur-ball, a smile escaping my lips as I spoke.

"Shouldn't little girls stay asleep this time a night, Jailbait?" I grinned. "Though it might be more appropriate calling you 'your highness' now, huh?

Startled, the girl turned around, red as a tomato, and faced me with the most nervous attempt to a smile I had ever seen. "Adrian!"

"Princess Jillian Mastrano Dragomir." I made a bow.

"Hi! I…I couldn't sleep." She frowned. "And you don't have to call me 'princess'. I've had enough of that from everyone else."  
She didn't say it in a mean way, telling me to back off or anything. She said it in a way that told me that she at least didn't want to be called like that by her friends.

I knew that being exposed as the illegitimate child of Eric Dragomir must have been enough to make anyone upset and that Jailbait also had to become something new entirely, so different from her former self. A royal. All the pressure that came from that was something I was way too familiar with, so I understood her dislike for titles. She had been very cool about it so far, but I couldn't help feeling worried about her.

I watched her and tried to see her aura, but the five hundred drinks I'd had before had done their job, subduing anything spirit related in me. So, instead, I focused on her face. Her jade green eyes, which were so like mine, but still so different, looked back at me. They wore a calm expression now, having got rid of the frown.

A warm, fuzzy feeling filled inside me as she smiled, more confidently now, at me. With so many people that I'd started to distrust and who made me want to puke, she still had managed to look just as innocent and pure as I remembered from our time together at St. Vladimirs.

Busy seeking words that might comfort her, I was the one to be startled when she suddenly turned to her right, answering a call someone had given her.

"Eddie!" Another one of her adorable smiles spread across her face as Eddie Castile, a Dhampir and guardian, approached us from the entrance wearing his usual, serious expression.

He had been through a lot this past year and after killing a Moroi, his status had lowered somewhat but by the help of our new queen, Vasilisa(Lissa) Dragomir, Eddie managed to keep his position as guardian. In fact, he happened to be assigned as one of Jailbait's personal guardians.

Her smile that had welcomed him faded and was replaced by guilt. "Eddie, I'm sorry, I know that I should've stayed in my room, but I…"

Eddie, who now stood a meter from us and had had his eye fixed on Jailbait the entire time, shot a sidelong glance at me. He gave a curt nod. "Lord Ivashkov." I rolled my eyes. '_My god, he needed to relax.'_

His attention immediately shifted back on Jailbait so he'd missed my snappy gesture. I think. "Princess Dragomir-" Eddie started and I couldn't help noticing how Jailbait's body tensed. Yup, she had indeed some title issues. "You can't run off in the middle off the night…" Well, day, but you know how vampire schedule works. "…and expect us to be relaxed. If it had been during the day when more people were awake, then it wouldn't have been a big problem, but as it is, it's in the middle of the night and during this time there's not that much security and the only people awake now are people-" His eyes had immediately shifted to me, but I pretended not to notice. "-who may not be…the…the best company." Jailbait, however, didn't.

"People like Adrian?" She used a tone I hadn't heard in her before. It was angry. "He may drink, but he's not like that and you know it, Eddie."

Eddie's serious expression remained, but had now a slight uneasiness to it. "I'm merely here to inform you of the risks and bring you back to your quarters, princess." She shot him a glance. He cleared his throat. "But I _am_ sorry, Adrian." He said and turned to me. "I didn't mean to imply anything. I know you're not like that."

My mouth twisted into a smile as I saw how that little Moroi managed to make one of the proudest guardians I knew, uncomfortable and nervous like that. She truly was a royal, whether she liked it or not.

"It's not a big deal. I understand how this must look like." I said and motioned with my hand at my designer clothes and the stains of alcohol and vomit that covered them. I hadn't realized how much I truly must stink right now and couldn't help to admire them both for having put up with the stench this long.

We parted ways and as Eddie led Jailbait away, lightly nudging her arm, I couldn't help but to feel a bit weird about it. I wasn't able to label the feeling. 

'_Astonished over him nudging a princess?'  
'Nah.'  
'Concerned that he was hurting her?'  
'No.'  
'Had I just felt protective of her?'  
'Probably.'_

I ruffled my hair in annoyance. I had made it to my room now and opened the door. Fatigue came over me like lightning and it was a miracle that I managed to get as far as to the bed. There I lay. And before Sandman could get to me I asked myself one last question and passed out without leaving an answer.  
'_Had I been jealous?'_

~o~0~o~

_**A/N: **__**End of first chapter!  
Wow, seems like there's something going on between Adrian and Jill ;)  
Hope you liked it!**_

_**Please review! **_


	2. Jill

_**A/N: **__**Second chapter of Adrian's (love? )story! Enjooooy!**_

__o~0~o~

"Adrian, be reasonable." 

"I am not, nor will I ever be." 

"Adrian!" 

Daniella Ivashkov grew impatient. She wore an elegant black, silk gown and her dark hair was in its usual, classy bun. As stunningly beautiful as most people thought she was, her angered expression at the moment could make anyone reconsider. My mother just continued to stare at me as I carelessly lay in my bed, unconcerned about her naggings.

"Mom, I'm not going to some stupid party. Just forget it." 

Her glare could pierce through walls. "And do what instead? Go to another party and get drunk again? Sleep with another one of those… blood whores?" Wow. I doubted my mom had ever used the word 'blood whore' before. I'd never seen her lose it this much. Unfortunately for her, my temper was starting to flare up as well.

With a taunting smile I said "Hey, at least I don't share them with my aunt in law!"  
This made her stop. Her eyes widened in despair. "Adrian-"

"But, wait. That's what you did, right, mom? Ambrose, or what's his face. Yeah, you shared him. You slept with a blood whore yourself. " 

She started to shake her head. "Adrian, you know it wasn't like tha-"

Again I interrupted her and exclaimed "You cheated on my father!"

My eyes burned as I watched her freeze. I couldn't help shaking, so I just sat there on my bed, not wanting to stand up, in fear that it would reveal my trembling legs.

While turning my eye from my apparently paralyzed mother, I watched the pattern of my pillow case. Though it wasn't exactly the same as hers, it still reminded me of Rose. Her covers had had almost been identical to these. I'd noticed the pattern and colors the night that she and I had…well, not 'made love', but almost. I have slept with a fair amount of women, but that had been the one night that I actually thought we'd made it out of love. But, of course that had only been me. As far as she was concerned, it had probably just been something fun to do while waiting for Dimitri. And when he finally arrived and they could go on their 'trip', well…she probably just couldn't wait to sleep with him. She just couldn't wait to cheat on me. Just like my mom had done to my dad.

A thought formed in my head.  
"You're all the same."

My mother snapped out of her trance and looked at me questioningly. "What?" 

I brushed the thought away and ignored her. I got up out of bed and headed for the door.

"Adrian! What about the queen's party? You can't-", she started but stopped as soon as she saw what I was doing. 

"I am simply holding up the door for you, so you can get out while I get dressed."

__o~0~o~

It was the hour of Vampires. The moon was round and full, and shone for us in the dark, summer night. The air musty and hot and every breeze felt like a blessing. Voices carried in the occasional wind and its sources standing inside a magnificent, gothic building, mingling while waiting for the main event of the party.

The party wasn't so much as a party since most of the guests were either old or boring. No, make that old _and_ boring. The only exceptions were Mia Rinaldi, Christian Ozera and Jailbait. Eddie was there as well, but I counted him into the boring category.

The primary reason for my agreeing to go to this ridiculously boring gathering had been to drink all the liquor I could get my hands on, since it obviously was free. But then I found out that my friends would be there (more importantly, that little miss Jailbait, would be there) and I had no intentions of making them be embarrassed of knowing me. That privilege was for my mother alone.

"But why exactly are we throwing this party", asked Mia as she stirred her drink irate. "Lissa was crowned more than two weeks ago and everybody saw her back then. Wouldn't all of this excitement have minimized by now?"

"Lissa is going to college in two weeks", Christian answered with a slightly sad voice. "So, that's why they have this to make sure everybody gets to see her at least once. They start today with the older Moroi and then older Dhampirs and followed by middle-aged Moroi et cetera until you reach the ones who actually might live long enough to have a chance on spotting her more than once."

Mia nodded but seemed to have thought of something to add. "So, how do the foreign Moroi react to being after _Dhampirs_ to see the queen? Aren't they upset?"

Christians smiled proudly. "Yeah, of course. But Lissa is doing a great job convincing them that no matter which race you come from, you still should respect the elderly. She's making the council, if not our whole society, see that race doesn't matter and that…"

The rest of his words became a blur as I walked away from the group, bored, heading towards the garden just outside. Sure, I felt proud over Lissa as well, but seeing Christian's with an air that screamed 'lovey-dovey' and his dopey grin as he talked about his girlfriend, had started to make my stomach upset.

Finding a bench under a tree a bit away from the crowded ballroom, I sat down and drank out of the bottle of wine I'd managed to pick up in the ballroom.

I'd barely taken two sips, before hearing small, careful footsteps that searched for me. I couldn't help but laughing at her lame attempt at discreetly following me. The follower had stopped at my laugh and started to search for its source. The steps faster sped towards me and there she was: in that cute, pink gown, her dark and curly hair swinging round and about, looking at me with those eyes, those jade green eyes. When she saw me laughing and smiling, her face immediately flushed red.

A nervous smile formed on her lips and she looked down at my feet while addressing me. "Umm … I was…well, _we _were worried about you when you ran off like that." While carefully peeping through her curtain of hair that hung in front of her bent head, Jailbait's eyes caught the bottle I was holding. After giving a small frown, they drew their attention back to me.

"Are you okay?" That made me laugh even harder. How could I possibly be okay? My aunt had been brutally stabbed and murdered, my mother had cheated on my father and as for my ex-girlfriend…well, let's just say there was a reason I called her my 'ex'.

Jailbait had been a bit startled by my increased laughter (which probably made me look crazy), but had regained herself.

As for me: I was afraid I was going mad.

I lit a cigarette and felt her gaze lingering on me and her lovely jade green eyes were probably full of disapproval. '_They are all the same_.'  
I sighed and let out a small puff of smoke as I did. 

"Why are you looking like that at me for? Do want a cigarette too or something, wannabe princess?"

I was surprised at hearing myself speak to her like that and thought about apologizing when she suddenly asked "Do you want me to want one?"

I looked up at her, surprised at the question. "What?" I scoffed. "What kind of question is that?" It had sounded like something a therapist might do, answering a question with a question.

She repeated the question with a grave expression. "Do you want me to want one?"

I felt my face making a puzzled expression.  
What did she mean? The answer to that was so obvious. Of course I didn't want her to smoke. "No."

"And why don't you? 'Cause it seems to me like your having a great time smoking," she tilted her head and raised her eyebrows "So why not?" 

I frowned at her response. "Well, because me smoking is my business, but you should stay away from it. It's not healthy."

Now it was her time to frown. "So, it's okay for you to hurt yourself, but I can't? That doesn't seem fair to me."

I felt myself gaping and immediately closed my mouth. This must have been the longest conversation we'd ever had. At least one without her usual blushing and stuttering. She was really starting to get on my nerve now, by asking all of these questions with so obvious answers.

"You are so weird, Jailbait. Why the hell would anyone want to hurt themselves?" She smiled at me. And I felt it hit me.

All those times where I'd drink and drink, smoke and smoke, just to make it all go  
away. To make all those dark thoughts go away. My spirit powers had been a great reason to be subduing my powers, but they had also been a great excuse for me to consume liquor. Hurting my body and mind, so that I wouldn't feel the much deeper wounds inside myself.

I felt a warm hand holding mine and realized Jailbait had bent down and was sitting on the ground opposite to me. She squeezed my hand gently and I realized I was crying.  
She looked up at me and said "I was wondering the same thing." A smile twitched on her sweet lips. "And my name isn't Jailbait, by the way, in case you hadn't noticed. It's Jill." 

I dared to meet her eyes and the green held my gaze while my hands traced the lines of her face. "Jill…"

__o~0~o~

_**A/N: **__**Ok, that was the end of ch 2! Hope you enjoyed it and ch 3 will be coming soon!  
**__**Please review! **_


	3. Adrian and paingings & warnings

~o~0~o~

"Come on, hold still." 

"I'm sorry, I'm just so nervous. It's the first time I've done this." 

"Don't worry, you'll be fine."

Jill continued to squirm in discomfort as I stood before her. She sat on a chair opposite to where I stood, her curly hair entangling her cute countenance and wore a regular set of clothes containing jeans and a sweater. Me? I had a stand in front of me with a newly started painting on it, a pencil in my hand. And, let's face it, I smiled.

"It's just a test-portrait, I'm not actually gonna _show_ it to anyone. This is just something to get me back in the game." I said. 

Her eyes met mine and a suspicious look cast upon them. "You _promise_?" 

I held up my right hand to my heart "I swear on my life, that this painting will not be seen by _anyone_ without your approval." 

"Ok, then." Her mood lifted and I smiled as she started to smile, but then she suddenly stopped. I watched her aura and its colours showed concern. 

"What's wrong?"

The jade green that had met my emerald turned away and met the carpeted floor instead.  
Jill shook her head and murmured something inaudible even to my advanced vampire hearing.  
I repeated my question and she whispered "I don't want you to swear your life on it. It's too sad for me even to think about."

I dropped my pencil on my stand and walked slowly toward her, afraid that the fragile girl in front of me would break if I didn't. 

'_She's so small_…' Everything about her told me so.

Her little body was hunched forwards as her arms leaned on her knees, her eyes facing the floor while her head rested in the firm grips of her hands. She was the complete opposite to Rose or any dhampir woman in general, for that matter. Her curly hair and petite-ness only amplified her close resemblance to a porcelain doll.  
_**  
'**__If I touched her she could easily break_…' But as those words formed in my head my own voice countered: '_Yes, but she is also strong. She has been through a lot, but still, she is here isn't she? She is supporting Lissa, she is supporting me…So maybe behind the porcelain a stronger material is hiding inside, protecting her good heart…'_

This sudden revelation seemed to have taken an eternity for me to get, but in reality, I'd only taken one single step. Perhaps, if you saw this symbolically, you could say that the step symbolized one step closer to Jill and her heart. That kind of emotional crap wasn't something for me to be thinking about though, as she happened to be almost seven years younger than me. Ironically, about the same age difference it was between Rose and Dimitri. '_And I sure as hell won't be a paedophile like him_.' 

But, hugging Jill was okay. Right? I could be like a caring older brother. And didn't brothers comfort their sisters in times like these?

Making up my mind, I continued to walk the few feet that parted us. Kneeling down in front of her, I was determined to make her feel better. Just as she had done for me two days earlier. Since that day, all I could do was to smile whenever I'd been around her. Not just smile, twitching my lips up in a grimace, but _really _smile.

The hardest part of the process of my recovering (that involved getting over the several messed up cases containing betrayal, murder and lies) was over, I guess. All thanks to her. My own little baby-sister, porcelain therapist. What I hoped for now was to help with her problems in return. '_Although, it's kinda weird that the thing I'm trying to help her with is her concern for me…'__**  
**_  
Shaking my head and sighing, while kneeling, I said "You are unbelievable."

After her head had lifted enough for us to make eye-contact and before she was able to determine if I'd been insulting or complementing her, I pulled her in my arms. I can barely describe it; all I _can_ say is that pulling away would take a hell lot of effort…

She gasped, startled, clearly taken aback. Nonetheless, her arms were soon joining mine, completing our embrace. Her curls were everywhere, spreading their strawberry scent, intoxicating me. I seemed to be clinging on to her for comfort not the other way around.

I couldn't help but to feel a little smug inside. Her little crush on me (Yeah, I knew about it. She might be the kindest person I knew, but not the most discreet) might make her think that this was nothing more than a hug to me, not wanting to get her hopes up. That was what _I_ hoped for at least.

Because otherwise, it wouldn't take much for her to persuade me into doing something stupid. Something really, really stupid. Something that brothers should not be doing with their sisters…

"Adrian, why did you stop painting?"

Turning my head a bit, I caught a glimpse of the stand with my painting that Jill had been looking at over my shoulder. We were still hugging, but apparently her thoughts hadn't taken the same direction as mine by it. 

Grinning, I said" Because you can't drink paintings."

"Hey! I'm serious!" Though her tone indicated that she was, I still could feel her giggle a bit.

I shrugged" I don't really know. I've always enjoyed it; drawing, painting, making sculptures.  
But as I began to develop my Spirit-powers and went to college, I just couldn't do it anymore.  
It just became too…difficult." I said.

Jill gave a small "aha" and then continued "But you do love it, don't you?" 

I could feel myself smiling. Just as I did every time she knew something about me, that I amazingly enough, didn't. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess I do." 

"I knew it." She said, a little smug. "When you began painting today, I could see that holding paintbrush made you feel a little complete. You were practically glowing."

Astonishment made its way through me. Sure, I'd felt a kind of relief when holding the pencil, felt more like my older self again. The one before the spirit and liquor. It was starting to get kind of spooky how well Jill figured me out… My former, dangerous thoughts were emerging again. 

I pulled my head back, so I could get a look on her face. It was red. I gave a small laugh. It was so typical Jill. Serious while still being nervous and so innocent.

My blood rushed and my heart thumped like crazy. The silence in that lingered in the room was interrupted by my increased breathing. She was so close. Her beautiful eyes, her curly hair that almost covered them entirely. And her lips, inches from mine. While cupping her face with my hands, I leaned forward and felt her body freeze.

"Adrian, what are you-" Midsentence, her eyes widened in surprise. My eyebrows pulled together in confusion as I watched her. Then I realized she was looking past me, at the door. Where Eddie stood. 

'_If looks really _could_ kill__**…**__I'd be dead now__**…'  
**_  
Jill immediately sprung up to her feet, so fast she almost knocked me down as she did, and sped towards him. "Eddie. Hi. Is it already time for my meeting with Lissa?" She'd spoken hastily and was obviously trying to keep a casual tone to hide her embarrassment, but failed.

Eddie, however, acted cool. "Yes, your sister is waiting for you in the eastern wing." 

"Oh, you mean by the-" 

"Yes." 

She gave him a small smile which he (to my amazement) returned.

"Ok, I'll be going then." She turned to me. "Um, sorry, Adrian, I really have to go.  
Maybe I can help you with your painting some other time maybe?" She gave me one of her nervous smiles.

I stood up and lightly brushed off the tiny specks off dust that plastered against my pants when I'd kneeled down next to Jill. "Sure." I said. "Whatever time is appropriate for you to help me _paint _is okay." , I said to tease Eddie (Which he obviously noticed, since he cleared his throat, clearly stating that whatever it had looked like we'd been doing had been anything but painting)

Jill, oblivious to mine and Eddie's exchange, relaxed a bit. "Good. I hope I'll have time soon." 

I nodded." Me too. " 

Smiling, she waved us goodbye and exited out of the door, leaving me and Eddie alone.

An awkward silence lingered in the room. I decided to not pay any attention to him. If he had anything to comment, he should just spit it out. As I began to put my painting things away, Eddie finally decided to break the silence.

"I really meant what I said the other day. You know, about you not being a bad guy. I really meant it. Even though you looked like hell at the time. But, this" he motioned with his arm at me. "What you're doing right now with Jill; that really made me reconsider."

I felt my temper rising. "Hey, man. I didn't do anything-" 

Eddie glared at me, his brows pulling closer, almost forming into one. "One second later and it could've been." He said. "For God's sake, Adrian, it's Jill! She's been through more than you know, but she is too good to admit it to anyone. She doesn't need this. So, just try to back off." 

Spirit or no spirit, I still think I would've answered the same, stupid way. "Make me." 

Eddie walked towards the door, stood by it for a while. Not even looking back. "Do something to hurt her, and I will." And without another word he gently closed the door behind him as he walked out. Eddie's reaction hadn't been what I'd expected. In my imagination, his response would've been a fist in my face...

~o~0~o~

**A/N: ****End of ch 3!  
I hope you're enjoying the tales of Adrian and hold on until the next one, cause it might take a while for the next chapter :'(  
I'm so sorry! But I have a test coming up and piles of homework, but if I have any time over, I'll spend it on writing!  
So, will Adrian leave Jill be, after having been warned by Eddie? Find out in the next chapter!  
See you and please review!**


	4. Adrian and a dream about eyes

**A/N: ****Hi, everybody!  
I decided to make the chapter a bit shorter this time so that you wouldn't have to wait so long, so I hope you don't mind.  
I'll try to finish chapter 5 as soon as I can and as always:  
I hope you enjoy and please review!**

~o~0~o~

_I was sta__nding on a hill. Light rain drizzled down at me, the tiny drops of H2O making their way onto my neck and further down my back. I shivered.  
It wasn't cold. It wasn't hot. Still, the field gave me goose-bumps as I looked through the fog that surrounded me. _

_Sunrays were struggling their way through the heavy clouds and as I watched one of the few that had succeeded over their comrades' feeble attempts at spreading their light, I noticed how it was shining right at a shape straight ahead. _

_The figure emerged through the thick, gray cloth that covered us with its dampness, and spread a light as bright as the sun itself. I shielded my eyes against the glowing with my arms and as I dared to peek at the creature through them, a hard wind knocked me off my feet. _

_The ground was hard against my body, making damage to it that would probably result in bruises later on. Startled, I fumbled my way up on my elbow, scanning the area for the glowing thing. _

_The sun had disappeared, leaving a dark sky hill, which had been a gorgeous green, now bore a brownish gloom. A foul stench of decay lay in the air as heavy as the mist had just a second ago, before the gust of wind had blown it all away. But instead of filling my lungs with fresh air and liberating the sun from its cloudy prison, it had only brought misery. Making the area look like the land of the dead. _

_The creature was shining no more. My vision still a bit impaired by the previous glowing, was unable to identify it. All they enabled me to see was how the creature's curvy body suddenly slumped down on the ground. I screamed, but no sound came out. There was nothing but an eerie silence.  
_

_The urge within me to help it overpowered me. I scrambled up to my feet, tried to blink away the white dots that danced around in front of me, and ran clumsily towards petite figure that lay on ground. _

_Wait, petite? Just a second ago it had had a tall and curvy shape. Not _petite.

_Just as I thought that it couldn't get any weirder, I finally was able to put a name on the crumpled shape by my feet.I stared in bewilderment as I realized who it was. _

_And then, she rose up on her feet, I was knocked off mine for a second time. My eyes trailed their way up and as they reached her face they were greeted by the two, hostile, pair of jade green…_

A thud woke me up.  
I lay on the edge of my bed, still fully dressed, surrounded by books.  
Apparently, I'd knocked one of them down in my sleep.

I heaved myself up and picked the fallen book from the floor. I looked at the cover.  
It had a bowl of fruit on it and above were the title _"A painters guide".  
_The book held no interest for me at the moment but as I saw one of the fruits in the bowl, a green pear, I gasped.  
_**  
'**__A dream'_, I reassured myself. '_It was only a dream.'__**  
**_

The pear still frightened me with its greenness. It wasn't the same shade, but it still reminded me of her. Her beautiful eyes. Which in the dream had looked at me with such resentment.  
_**  
'**__I need to see her'_, I thought. '_I have to see her. I have to see if she's okay.'  
_

I stopped at the door. My hand clenched the handle, ready to open it, but my mind wasn't.  
Eddie's warning echoed in my head. He had warned me to stay away from Jill, not wanting her to get hurt by me. Even if he'd warned me, it wasn't as if I'd had a chance to see her for the last three days.

Usually she had to meet up with Lissa every now and then, but as Lissa prepared to go off to college, the meetings had grown more frequent. She had to learn how to behave like a royal so that she wouldn't disgrace the queen…The pressure on Jill must be more than ever._**  
**_

_**"**_Eh, screw it_**."**_, I decided and slammed the door shut behind me with a bam.

~o~0~o~


	5. Adrian and the weak

**A/N: ****Hello! To make up for the short chapter last time, I've made this one especially long. Hope you like it! **

~o~0~o~

The ground smelled of rubber. The red carpeted floor had recently been vacuumed and no trace of its former filth was left to be found. And how did I know this, you wonder? Well, let me explain: The turbulent state that my mind had been in while I'd stormed out of my room, disoriented my senses and left the girl, lying in the hallway just outside, unnoticed. Thus, making her an excellent object for me to trip over.

"Adrian! Adrian!" Jill exclaimed. "Are you all right? I'm so sorry!" I felt two hands desperately pulling at my shoulders, directing my upper body off the floor.

"I'm fine" I groaned. "My elbows hurt a bit, 'cause I tried to break the fall with them. But besides that…" I mentally checked my body for other injuries"…I'm fine."

Jill sighed in relief. I realized now that my head was in her lap, her dark and curly hair tickling my face. Our eyes met and I quickly broke away from her gaze. It was there in the back of my head, an unsettling thought. I focused on the rest of Jill's face and now I understood it. Her eyes held such power, stability and knowledge that they had me forget; she was only fifteen. Her cheeks were pink and round, her features as soft as a Moroi's could get, but nevertheless soft. '_What the hell am I doing?'_

I rose up from her lap and settled myself in sitting position, leaning against the wall, opposite her. I cleared my throat. "Jill-" I began, but only her name made my heart skip a beat, forcing me to start over. "Jill, do you know how old I am?"

She lifted her left eyebrow in suspicion. "Twenty-one."

I nodded in approval. "Right, so you _do_ know there's an age difference between us."

Jill frowned. "Well, I'm not stupid, if that's what you mean." She said annoyed. "I know that Eddie's been putting whatever you're thinking in your head, and I also know that you don't care."

I was taken aback at the ferocity in which she'd just expressed herself, but tried to compose myself. I took a deep breath and tried again. "Of course I know you're not stupid, but that's not the point. The point is that while I do care about you, we can't start something. I'm too old for you."

She glared at me. "Please don't." She said. "Don't pretend like you're protecting me from you, just so that you can feel better about yourself."

I stared at her and felt my temper rising. "Jill, I'm just saying that for your own sake, you should stay away from me."

This sent her flying up. She stood and looked down at me with anger. "Don't you dare tell me what to do, Adrian! Don't you dare act like I'm some defenceless little royal you have to protect because I'm too damn lazy to learn how to! I'm not weak and I'm not a pretty doll that you can dress up and play around with!" She cried. Unshed tears sparkled in her eyes and she quickly blinked them away and turned away and started for the stairs.

Reality hit me, I stumbled up on my feet and tried to catch up with the girl who had just screamed at me and was going away. I had to stop her, so I ran up to her, caught hold of her tiny wrist and swung her around. She was crying now and as one of her tears slid down her cheek, I lifted my right hand and gently wiped it away with my thumb. I tried to meet Jill's eyes but her face was turned away, the jade green focused on the floor in shame. She had slipped. She had said that she was strong but still the tears had made their way through.

Despite that, I couldn't help but to admire her bravery. She had finally let her true feelings about becoming a royal, burst out. I wanted to praise her for it, but it was kind of hard when she kept staring at the floor.

"Jill." I said and felt that silly tingly in my stomach as I said her name. "I'm sorry, okay? You were right, you're not weak and it was stupid of me to tell you what to do." Her eyes were still firmly focused on the ground. So I continued. "You've probably had enough of that already from everyone else."

This made her jerk her head up, and just like the click of a newly turned lock our gazes were locked in place. You could basically hear the click as our eyes were in the position they were supposed to be: facing the others. Her tears were once again making their way through and her eyebrows were pulled together in despair.

"I'm so sick of it, Adrian. I'm so tired of pretending to be something I'm not. Nowadays, I have nowhere to go. No one to talk to. Because if I do tell someone how I feel, I'll be weak. I have to support Lissa. I have to support my mom, otherwise she'll worry. And most of all, I have to…" She put her hand on mine that rested on her cheek. She gently squeezed it.

She bit her lip to stop herself from sobbing. "'Most of all'…what?" I asked her.

She let out a cry. "And most of all…" She continued. "Most of all I want to support you. I can't be weak if I'm going to help you. I can't."

I felt as if someone had stabbed me in the chest. I had been causing her to suffer. I had been weak and so consumed by my own problems, relying on her to help me that I had done absolutely nothing to return the favour. '_Okay, maybe not _nothing._ I've tried, but perhaps not enough.'_

I pulled her in my arms and held her. "Hey, now you insult my manliness." I said with an air of pretence hurt. "I'm thankful, so, so, thankful, but you've already helped me more than you can imagine. You've given me so much." I pulled my head back so that I could lean my forehead against hers." So, let me give you something."

Her face immediately flushed red and she said with a stammering voice "I only want you."

This sent my blood rushing, my breath heavy and my lips against were both outcasts among our own. Both imposed with obligations and expectations we'd never asked for. It was childish, it was selfish to whine about it, but that was who we were. We were weak on our own. We tried but we still couldn't make it. It was crucial for us to stay together, otherwise we'd break.

Jill's lips were soft and warm. I brushed them gently with mine and she responded with a light kiss of her own. We were in each others' arms, locked tight and stood there in the hallway kissing. It was in the middle of Vampire night, but we still couldn't risk to be seen so we moved to my room.

We lay there on my bed, my arms wrapped around her tight. Our clothes still on, by the way. It was enough for the both of us to just lie there next to each other. It was enough for me to kiss her neck and feel her hand touch my cheek. Our green eyes gazed at one another, taking in everything about them. As I brushed my hand against her cheek, a realization struck me. She felt so real. I could feel her presence, hear her breathe, see her move. I could feel how warm her body was next to mine.

A vague memory replayed itself in my mind.  
_"What are you, Rose Hathaway? Are you real? You're a dream within a dream. I'm afraid touching you will make me wake up. You'll disappear."_

I'd been in Rose's room, kissing her, touching her. Doing a hell more than I'd ever done with Jill. Yet, I'd felt that way. I'd felt like she wasn't real, like she'd been a dream. '_Maybe it was because she was never really something for me to begin with. Perhaps she was supposed existe in another world outside of mine.'_

My thoughts were cut off by Jill's beautiful voice. "What are you thinking about?" She asked.

"Rose." I answered without thinking. I felt Jill flinch and I immediately gripped my arms around her, pinning her down. "No, Jill, I didn't mean it like that! I was only thinking of her because I realized how much more you mean to me than she ever did." I felt her struggling little body relax. "I'm begging you, please believe me."

I tilted my head and saw her give a small smile, which triggered forth my own. "Ok, I believe you." She said and kissed me on my smiling lips. "But if we're going to talk about other people, I might as well confess I was thinking about Eddie."

I pulled my lips from her and stared at her aghast. "What?"

She started laughing at my assumingly, horrified expression. I frowned and stared at her with a serious face. Jill stopped laughing and smiled gently. "Adrian, you shouldn't look like that. Serious expressions don't suit you, makes you look like an old man." She teased. "And I was thinking about Eddie, because he's probably gonna notice my bed is empty."

"Right." I said. "But is he always watching you? Don't you have other guards as well?" 

"Well, yeah, but he's the only one I have right now at Court. I managed to sneak out because he's not around all the time, I wouldn't force him to do that." She said and added with a sigh. "Even though he'd probably want to. He's very serious about his job."

Jealousy made its way through my mind and I therefore said mockingly "He probably just wants to be around you, the pervert." Jill stared at me in bewilderment. "Eddie? God no! He's like an overprotective brother, that's all. He's been a really good friend. Besides, he cares about someone else anyway." She added a little smug.

I found myself being relieved and curious at the same time. "Eddie? Like someone? You mean, like a girl, like a person?" Jill giggled and nodded. "He told you?" I asked and she shook her head in response.

"I figured it out. ", she simply said.

"So, you mean that mister serious-can't-get-serious-enough- guardian actually likes someone. As in likes a person, as in a person at court?" I asked.

Jill nodded once again and answered with a really smug smile "As in Mia Rinaldi."

I couldn't help laughing at the idea of Eddie Castile and Mia together. They were both fighters, they were both serious and they both had determination. Eddie was tough and had helped Rose in her prison-break, so that he could keep the promise he'd made to his dead friend. I'd heard all sorts of things Mia had done, all horrible but she had done them in order to accomplish her goal.

Just like me and Jill, they were alike. Even though people might appear to be different, it's what lies beneath the surface that counts. I might smoke and drink, behave like a psycho at times, while Jill was the quiet, little girl who wanted to please everyone, but deep down we were the same. 

The person who'd been first to say "Opposites attract" really needed get his facts straight.

"I really have to go now." Jill said as the twilight approached. "Otherwise, they'll send a search-party for me." We were still lying on the bed, my chin resting on her head. It was so comfortable that neither of us dared to break our embrace. Eventually, we both, unwillingly, got up and headed for the door, while kissing. We reached the door and her green eyes smiled at me as she kissed me goodbye.

As Jill departed, I couldn't help but to feel an unsettling feeling in my stomach. The dream still haunted me, it had felt so real. It had felt like spirit. Perhaps my powers were evolving, but that meant that the dream had a meaning and as long as I didn't know how to interpret it, it scared the hell out of me.

I closed the door and did my usual hair-ruffling-while-annoyed thing. I was so happy, but still there was something bugging me. My rumbling stomach interrupted my thoughts. '_I need to eat'_, I realized. I headed towards the restaurants downstairs (aware that Jill had already gone home, so I needn't to worry about her being seen with me) and stopped at once when I reached the entrance of the little café.

I could sense Lissa even before I entered. She was standing by the counter, holding a doughnut and passed it to the person opposite her, who was someone I hadn't expected to see. She had her dark, long hair behind her ear and wore the guardians' usual black clothes and the two women seemed to be in deep conversation with each other. Opposite Lissa stood Rose…

~o~0~o~

**A/N: ****Hi everyone! Please let me hear your thoughts about the chapter. ****I hope you enjoyed it!**


	6. Adrian and doughnuts

**A/N: ****Hi everyone! **  
**I'm very aware of the time it took for me to write this chapter and I'm extremely sorry for that!My excuse is school…Anyway, I've missed writing, and hearing your thoughts always make my day.** **So, please review and enjoy chapter 6! :D**

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything, Richelle Meade does._

~o~0~o~

You know how you always picture a confrontation? Maybe it's about your parents being unjust or maybe you want to outsmart a person you dislike. Anyhow, you prepare this mental image, a scenario even, of how your dreaded conflict would come to an end.

You make a sort of speech in your head and imagine everything going according to plan:You say your stuff. The other person says theirs, but in the end _you_ gain the match-point by retorting with a spot-on remark.

Personally, I confess that ever since Jailbait had become Jill, I'd stopped drinking and satisfied myself by thinking. Thinking about flaunting my happiness with Jill. Thinking about having this whole speech about what a bitch Rose was and how she'd judged me.

Sad, I know.

Nevertheless, those thoughts had been just as alive and frequent in my mind as those of hearing about my mother's affair, my aunt's murder and Jill's concern. Four women who constantly persist on making my life complicated. Two of them I'd sworn to confront and managed to do so. However, it was the meeting after the confrontation that worried me now.

My mother I should be quite able to handle after my little outburst about her infidelity. But my ex? After having yelled at her, I wasn't sure how to act.

No one's good at confronting their ex.

It didn't help either to see her looking as gorgeous and sexy as ever. Her black pantsuit, which might be unflattering to some women, cunningly embraced her curvy figure. The beautiful, loose hair made her strict ensemble more relaxed whilst transforming her into a seductive fighter. Luring her opponents into underestimating her by swinging her hips and tossing her hair, but as they come closer she stabs them in the heart.

Man, this sucked. In my mind she had always let herself go, gained a few pounds…

She _was, _strangely enough, wearing a serious and concerned expression on her face. I glanced just above her head. Yep, her face was a perfect mirror of her aura.

I wonder what made it look like that? Since it was Lissa my, dangerously tempting, ex was talking to it could vary from world wide politics to girl trouble with Christian.

Not very eager to join their conversation in either of the topics and unable to bring out my rehearsed and imaginary speech, I decided to bail. As soon as I started to turn and make a run for it, Lissa raised her head and saw me. Damn Spirit! She had sensed me. Crap, crap, crap!

Panic shot through my body and made me go limp. Frozen on the spot, I was in perfect view for the little dhampir to spot me as she curiously traced the stare of her best friend. Rose's eyes grew wide with surprise. Lissa watched awkwardly between the two us as we continued to stare at each other.

Her head kept going back and forth between me and Rose much that she reminded me of someone watching a game of tennis, following the ball and waiting for someone to score the match-point.

'_How ironic'_, I thought and against my will let out a laugh. Rose flinched. Clearly she hadn't expected me to laugh, but once I saw how her startled expression turned into a scowl I realized she was afraid I was drunk.

'_Or crazy_.'

She said something to Lissa who simply nodded in reply and both of the girls left their seats and started towards me. I suddenly felt like a deer in the headlights as I saw them approach, the looks on their faces not hostile, but still intimidating enough for me to feel screwed.

'_Relax. __If this will play out like it has in my head a dozen times, I'm gonna gain the match-point.'_

Rose and Lissa came out through the glass door. I backed out of their way and tried to hide my uneasiness by casually leaning against the wall of brick next to the door.

As the two girls studied me I reached for a cigarette in my pocket and found it, to my astonishment, empty. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten about my promise to Jill about stop hurting myself. It just happened to be that the nicotine had a calming effect on me and a cigarette in my hands made me feel cooler, superior.

'_Ah well, it would only make them scold me anyway.'_

Rose's dark eyes held mine captive and reminded me of the passion I'd felt with her. I swallowed.

"Hello ladies." I said as bland as I could manage to sound.

'_Calm down. You're with Jill now. You're happy.'_

Yeah, I was with Jill now. She made me happy. She respected me and didn't look down at me. At a time like this she would try be strong and put on a poker face. Thinking about Jill immediately made my heart braver. I tilted my head and a cocky smile formed on lips as I continued to speak.

"So what are you doing out so early in the morning?"

"We could ask you the same thing." Rose said with a bit of malice. She seemed confused about my nonchalant attitude. "Isn't this about the time you're usually recovering from a hangover?"

"Rose!" Lissa exclaimed and stared at her best friend. As I opened my mouth to snap back at Rose, Lissa decided to intervene.

"Hi, Adrian. Actually we were just discussing something that maybe you should hear as well."

My attention only shifted slightly to her as my eyes were steadily fixed on Rose as hers were on mine. "What is it? Some poor Moroi who's lost a diamond or something? Sorry not interested."

"_No_. It's about a spirit-user who's been seen."

"A spirit-user?" Now my whole attention was on Lissa and this spirit-user. "Who is it? Is it someone here? Are we going meet him? Or, you know, her?" It was funny how this little piece of information excited me. It was just like when I'd met Lissa and discovered her powers were like mine.

She usually would look like me, almost jumping of excitement and curiosity. However, this time, she was not. "Don't get too excited. It happens to be someone we know."

"So?"

"So, it's a dangerous someone." Rose answered and pointed at me with her greasy doughnut. A smaller part of my brain wondered why I hadn't noticed she was still holding it.

"Ok, but who would that be? I mean, Sonya is here at court with her husband, those other two we know of is in Russia so who is it?"

Lissa looked uncomfortably at Rose who was chewing on her chocolate-glazed patisserie and who was the one to respond.

"Robert Doru has been spotted in Seattle." She said and licked some chocolate from her lips. "And he's probably going to try to kill me."

~o~0~o~


	7. Adrian and the plotting of a mad man

**A/N: ****Hey, you guys! I hope you've been doing well and that you'll continue to read and review my fanfic despite my horrible delay.**

**So, without further ado, here's chapter 7!**

**Enjoy!**

~o~0~o~

"Are you completely out of your mind?"

"Well if you have a better idea I suggest you say it now or-"

"Hey, you guys, stop it! We have to calm down if we're gonna work this out!" Jill exclaimed while looking at me and Rose.

The whole room had gone quiet and as I glanced around at the small group of people that sat on the couches and armchairs in our circle, I saw the same exhaustion written on all of their faces.

Lissa had snuggled up in one of the room's two satin couches and was leaning on Christian's shoulder, his arm around her. Her eyes closed, brows pulled together. Christian had a similar look on his face, but his eyes were focused on his girlfriend.

Eddie and Mia were both sitting in their armchairs just as quiet as they had since the beginning of the meeting a few hours ago. Though just as tired as everyone else of how incapable we were to make a decision, they were at least giving a slightly more concentrating vibe as they happened to both be staring intensely at the floor.

Dimitri was sitting on the room's second couch opposite me, right beside his standing girlfriend whose venomous glare at me showed her anger. He, on the other hand, just gave me a look that seemed to be of approval. He agreed with me. Rose's idea was stupid.

My eyes, which had given the room a small inspection, now reached the little fur-ball Jill. Her hair seemed to be even more sprawling than usual and the left sleeve of her yellow cardigan was halfway down her arm. The only thing that managed to break the tense and heavy silence was her catching her breath.

"We are all upset and worried, tired and irritated. I know. But we need to focus." She said. "We're supposed to think of a plan against Robert Doru. Not go against each other."

Rose snorted. "I already told you my idea. The _only _idea we have so far, I might add." She fell back into the couch, folded her arms and crossed her legs.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't change the fact that it's a _stupid _idea." I snapped at her. "You can't just expect us to sit back and let you play bait!"

The Dhampir just sighed. "You all know I can take care of myself. I'm a _guardian,_ so if I can't even protect myself, I'm no good to protect Lissa."

Lissa seemed to react at the mention of her name and was looking at her best friend and guardian with her newly opened, sad eyes. "Rose...We know you can beat down any Strigoi that comes your way, but we're talking about Robert Doru. He's a spirit user and who knows what he can do?"

I could see a hint of defeat in Rose's eyes, but I also saw that she opened her mouth to argue a little more. This time it wasn't Lissa who spoke, but Dimitri.

"Roza," He began, using his Russian nickname for his girlfriend, which by the way I despised. It sounded way too cheesy in my opinion. "Victor's brother is a very powerful magician. Besides, you already know that by exposing yourself and acting as a decoy, he'll have the advantage, since he could easily see through it and ambush us"

Rose and Dimitri exchanged a long look at each other, almost as if they were continuing the discussion telepathically. A few seconds later Rose former stubborn features relaxed and were replaced by a sigh of true defeat.

"Fine," she said. "You're right. I know it was a stupid idea, but..." Rose raised her hands. "We don't have any other choice, do we? We need to lure the bastard out. If Robert wants to stay hidden, I'm sure he can, despite his mental condition. And I'm sure he will until he decides to attack. And when he does...He'll kill me."

Everyone in the room fell, if possible, even more quiet than before. It was true. If Robert Doru, _the _Robert Doru who had managed to find a way to turn _Strigoi_ good, then he should be quite capable of avenging his brother's death. And that would mean Rose's death…

"I'll get something for us to eat." Jill said, breaking the heavy silence a few moments later. "We've been here for hours."

Lissa gave her a weak smile. "We can just call for a maid to bring us-"

"No, your highness. It's fine. Really. I need to stretch my legs anyway."

"Okay, but will you be able to carry everything? Maybe Eddie could walk with you-"

"I'll go with her." I interrupted Lissa. To Jill, while heading for the door, I said. "You coming, Jill?"

I saw everybody's eyes turn up to look at me at the mention of Jill's name.

She, on the other hand, just gave me one of her adorable smiles and nodded. "Yeah."

I held up the door for the little princess and as we walked out of the stuffy and intense room, I could feel its inhabitants lingering, piercing stares on my neck. Well out in the hallway and towards the restaurants Jill confirmed my thoughts.

"Well that sure was awkward."

"Yeah."

"You think they know? I mean, you offered to help me and you know...you called me by my name."

I laughed. "So what you mean is that my usual behaviour towards you requires me to be rude and unhelpful. Plus, calling you bad names. Am I right?"

Jill blushed. "Well, no. But what if they did find out? There's so much going on right now and me going off having a fling with the royal courts official bad boy ought to be troubling for Lissa's political carrier. "

"Sure, but if this is just a _fling…_" I said dragging out the word she'd just used to describe our relationship and took her hand. I planted a kiss on it which made Jill blush, both because she was still innocent when it came to physical contact, but also because I'd exposed her attempt at downplaying our relationship.

We had left the building and were now outdoors. The air that would feel chilly to humans felt to Morois, like myself, like tepid moist. And the moon shone discreetly in a comforting way, glowing in the background of the sky as a reminder that we were not alone.

'_Ah, sweet empress of the night. You glow as if you were the true sun. Not strongly, blinding us with your greatness like the one of day, but your beams are humble and filled gentleness...You are magnificent and-'_

"Um, Adrian? Hello? Are you okay?"

Jill was looking up at me, waving her hand. I was standing still, looking up towards the sky. My head started to hurt. I turned my head down and as all of the restaurants, shops and cafés started spinning around, something caught my eyes. A neon-glowing sign that said 'Bar'.

"No, I'm not fine. I need a drink." I said.

"A drink?" I could hear disapproval in her voice. "But you've been so good and... and we need you to help us right now. _Sober_."

Her words agitated me. What the hell was her problem? I needed a drink, couldn't she understand that? And I wasn't going to be of much help if I was angry and had a headache, was I?

"God, shut up, Jill!" I was kneeling now, my head throbbing so much and everybody's problems kept piling up inside of me, setting me almost to tears.

Lissa had problems as queen, Jill had problems becoming a princess and my ex girlfriend had a crazy spirit-person after her, looking for revenge. And now Jill wouldn't even let me have this little treat? It would help me, couldn't she see that? I wouldn't get drunk, just, you know, have a sip.

"Adrian!" I heard someone yell at me through the constant pounding inside my head. "Adrian! What's wrong? Jill, what's going on?"

"I...I don't know, Rose. We were talking and...and...oh, my god, Rose! He's hurting! What should we do?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder. The pain inside of my head ceased for a while, but it was replaced with a murderous intent. How dared they talk about me like I wasn't there! With a power I didn't know I had, I grabbed the hand holding me and sent a wave of spiritual darkness into her. A tortured scream erupted and was followed by a heavy thud to the pavement.

"Rose!" Jill screamed. Her next moves were so fast that I had no time to shield myself against the flow of water coming at me. The impact was so strong it sent me flying towards the bricked wall of a shop across the street. The water was so cold that it cooled me down, allowing my mind a moment of clearness. What had just happened?

I rubbed my head, which was bleeding, I discovered by looking at my hand. Jill was standing in front of me now with a floating ball of water at the ready. And before I passed out I could see Rose's crumpled body behind her and Jill's tearful eyes were filled with resentment…

~o~0~o~


	8. Adrian and a kiss with a fist

**Hi, just wanted to say that after re-reading the chapters I've noticed that I really have been ****mean and dismissive towards Dimitri and Rose, but please note that I'm only doing it because I'm writing from Adrian's point of view! I love Dimitri and Rose, I think they're awesome!**

**So please enjoy chapter 8!**

~o~0~o~

The water felt hard and cold against my face as I held it down in the filled up sink. When it eventually became hard to breathe I had to struggle to keep it down there. My lungs screamed for air, but my heart craved the water. In the water my tears remained unseen and the water would wash them all away.

I had not meant for any of it to happen. When it had, it had felt like I was being pushed aside in my mind by someone else. Someone aggressive. Someone mad.

Flashes of the incident kept filling my mind, reminding me of what I'd done. They had come frequently, during the couple of days I'd been conscious. Every five minutes or so they always ended with the same image; the one where I'd gained a moment of clarity, the moment where I'd discovered Rose's crumpled body and the moment where the love in Jill's eyes had been replaced by mere resent.

I didn't want to pull my head out of the water. I wanted to leave it there, let the water make its way through my throat into my lungs. And while the water slowly would fill them, my life would at the same time be drained away in the same cruel pace. It was what I deserved, after all.

"Adrian? Are you in there?"

There was a loud splash as I raised my head out of the sink and gasped for air. With quite some difficulty I managed to not collapse on the tile floor of the bathroom. I desperately wanted to, but the voice who called on me from the other side of the door left me without a choice.

"Yeah" I coughed. "I'm here."

The door opened and Daniella Ivashkov entered. She bore her usual designer clothes and jewellery, but her hair had lost all its elegance and lustre and was not in its regular bun. Her eyes were bloodshot and the rings under them were dark. My poor mother did not look so beautiful anymore. She had been busy staying by my side.

She gave me a vague smile and handed me a towel which I silently accepted. "So, did the water fresh you up? " I nodded. "Good. Though, you might want to take it easy with your head, I know Lissa healed it, but you can't be too careful."

I scoffed as I passed her and went into my bedroom. "Yeah, I don't think _that's _what to worry about in my head. In case you haven't noticed mom, I'm crazy." 

This was too much for her and I couldn't blame her for bursting into tears. All those hours waiting for me to wake up and then being in stuck in this room with me (I wasn't allowed to be outside of it until I was proven to be stable) just to hear me refuse medication that would help against the insanity I repeatedly reminded her that I had.

"Mom, please, relax."

"How am I supposed to relax, Adrian? I never wanted you to have this…this _power_…this curse. When I found out I knew it would just be trouble! But what I don't understand is why you won't take the medication! What harm would it do?"

"We already discussed this, mom. I have a new ability, and until I find out how to use it, I'm not gonna go taking some pills."

My mother took a deep breath and braced herself to keep from shouting at me. Her aura was still raving mad, though. "Adrian, just because you had a stupid dream that was slightly similar to what happened the other day doesn't mean you can predict the future."

~o~0~o~

The hills of were a prosperous green and a single oak, its branches dancing in the wind, stood before me. On the left side of the tree was a swing and on the swing sat Lissa. She gave me a worried look. _**Great, she's not only interrupting my sleep but she's doing it to lecture me**_.

"Please, don't get mad ok. It's just that Jill has been begging me for days to check up on you," she said. "And we are all worried about you, Adrian."

"Yeah, well you don't have to. I'm fine."

"Adrian, she knows," Lissa said plainly, calling my bluff. Not that I was trying my best to be convincing, but still…"Jill was there when you attacked Rose, she knows that you're not fine and she knows that you don't want her to visit you."

I avoided looking into my cousin's eyes, all she said was true after all. No way, I would let Jill see me after what I'd done, especially after what I _could_ have done.

"Adrian, she's my…She's my sister, my _baby_ sister. And right now she's doing that thing that she does when she's pretending to be ok, but on the inside she's pained. I've seen her do it ever since we found out we were related. And now she's sad because her crush is avoiding her. You can't do that, Adrian. You can't play with her like you do with all the other girls."

"Will everybody, _please_, stop saying that? And besides, you really don't know your own sister, do you?"

I could see how Lissa winced at my remark. "What do you mean?"

The right side of my mouth twitched. "Well, if you did, you would know that your sister is the most caring creature there ever was. She's probably sad because she thinks that _I'm_ suffering after what happened, and"- _**And that I'm avoiding her because I don't want what happened to Rose to happen to her**_-"and not because I'm avoiding her."

"I don't need to be lectured by _you_ about dealing with under aged girls." The vampire queen retorted. "And not about anything else either for that matter." She gave a sigh and took my hand.

"Look, Adrian. I understand how you feel about using the medicine, I've been there. But the thing is I was never a danger to anyone else the way you are right now. Instead of keeping it all inside and blaming ourselves the way Sonya and I did, you take out your angst and anger on others. Maybe it's different for men and women or something, I don't know.

"What I do know is that we can't afford worrying about Robert Doru _and_ you at the same time."

"I'm not taking some pills, Lissa. I've quit drinking and smoking for a reason, so I'm not gonna start popping pills too. I'm an addict, it doesn't matter what it is, I get addicted. So, no, I won't do it."

"Will you at least wear a ring? I'm not fully skilled enough to make it real effective, but at least it will help to drain the darkness away."

"I'll think about it."

I could see her opening her mouth to argue about what there was to think about when she suddenly stopped. "Eddie's waking me up."

"Why? Is something wrong?"

Lissa shook her head anxiously. "No, I hope not. He would only wake me up if it's really important. But he's supposed to guarding…" Lissa froze and looked at me, her eyes wide open. "Adrian, if you touch her-"

I never got to hear what Lissa was going to do, because a knock on the door drew me out of her Spirit-dream. With sore eyes I found my way to the door and against all screaming, sensible parts of my body (and I admit, they're not many) I opened it.

The first and only thing I saw was her. The green eyes, the wonderful round cheeks, her soft lips and that curly hair. She had a desperate look on her face and I couldn't help but embracing and draw her in for a kiss. She responded to it and after a few mesmerising moments we parted and looked into each others eyes.

I smiled at her and waited for her to respond to that as well. But instead, she slapped me.

~o~0~o~


	9. Adrian and long awaited words

**Hello dear readers! Please ENJOY**** and REVIEW! **

~o~0~o~

"Adrian Eugene Ivashkov you idiot!" 

"Jill, what are you-"

"You think you can just sit here and mope by yourself, keeping away from me?"

"I was trying to protect you." I explained.

"I can take care of myself, I was the one that knocked you out, remember?"

There was a brief pause as I inspected the little moroi. She still were in her pyjamas, her hair was in its all too familiar mess and it was clear by the way she panted that she were giving her all when yelling at me. But there also seemed to be something else to it…

"Did you fight my guards?" I asked and felt a slight amusement imagining the scene. _**Though, this will **_not_** be that good for Lissas reputation…**_

Jill seemed to find it amusing as well. "What? God no. All I had to do was to order them away. They weren't a problem at all, it was Eddie that I-"

"You fought with Eddie? Man, I would have loved to see that." 

"Adrian, focus, I'm trying to talk to you. I _have_ been trying to talk to you for the last couple of days. And…I really missed you."

She looked intensely at me. "And I've been so worried. I felt so helpless again, knowing you needed someone. _Anyone_ to be with you. So, I talked to Lissa and persuaded her to let your mother be with you. There was no way she would give me permission to do that. Though, I know you two haven't worked things out yet, so I'm sorry if you didn't want her with you."

"It was fine. Thank you." "You know, I feel guilty about all of it. I told myself I would stay away from you for your own safety. But I think I was too selfish to realise that I'm not the only one with problems and I'm not the only who should agree on that decision. I'm sorry, Jill."

Jill took a step forward and put her arms around me. "You forgot to mention the part where I can take care of myself. "

I felt my lips pull up in a smile (which hurt a little considering I had spent days without showing emotions) as I put my arms around her and using my right hand to stroke her hair. "Excuse me, I'm heavily embarrassed. Of course your skill with magic is of utmost importance to mention on such an occasion as this. Please forgive me."

She bit her lip and pondered for a while before answering. "Hmm, I will think about it."

Her cute stubbornness turned my smile into a laugh. "You'll _think_ about it? Well, what do one say in situations like these? Let me think- 'ouch'?"

Jill released herself from my arms, took a few steps away before giving me a look that had a flicker of harshness passing her eyes so quickly I barely saw it. But I did. And that made her reply hurt so much more:

"I can't forgive you. Not for a while anyway. I need to _prove_ that I'm not a petty royal and not just go around and say it." She took a deep breath and blushed. "I hope you understand that even though you mean so much to me I can't just forgive you that easily. Because what you've done and what you're doing right now is…well, s-stupid," Jill explained and stammered at the last word.

I felt my eyes widen in astonishment. "You aren't referring to my refusing medication, are you?"

Not Jill too, I thought. I couldn't take any more of the judgemental stares I already got. It was my business, my life. I had given up all my bad habits for both Rose and Jill-at least for a while- because I kind of saw their point, but forcing me to start becoming a drug addict as well was just cruel. Especially when I would be forced to stop after a while, like Lissa did. She'd managed it, I was pretty sure I wouldn't.

However, that was not the reason I gave Jill. If I did, she would just worry along with me. "You know I have this new power. I don't care what the others say, I predicted the future. I felt it. In my dream I saw Rose falling and then you rising, knocking me off my feet. What is that if not a prediction?"

I could see Jill shift her stance a bit awkwardly but then she gave me a reassuring look. "Even if I don't know much in this matter opposed to Lissa and you, I believe in you. I'm not sure if I believe in the whole prediction thing, but if you say it's so then I have faith in you."

With slow steps, I cut off the distance between us and held her in my arms again, gave her a long, tender kiss before saying: "I love you."

If Jill had been a tomato red before this, she was now as red as the blazing fire of a dragon. With trembling hands she cupped my face, looked into my eyes, swallowed and replied. "I love you too."

~o~0~o~


	10. Adrian and the troubled queen

**A/N Sorry for the delay! It's sad 'cause you're probably used to it by now…Sorry… I was visiting my family and had no access to internet****! Hope you'll forgive me and I want to thank you all for the reviews, they make me so, so happy. I've got a question for you this time: Do you want Robert Dashkov to appear? **

~o~0~o~

"Why did you call me 'Adrian _Eugene_ Ivashkov'? As far as I know it's not my middle name."

"Well, I kind of added it for some dramatic effect."

As I chuckled along with the moroi princess, I couldn't help but notice the slight tension attached to the air. Sure, we were joking along fine, but we had also just been caught making out. By none other than the Vampire queen herself just ten minutes ago, no less.

I don't think I've ever seen Lissa become that rigid and stiff as when she caught me and Jill and told us to follow her to an urgent meeting. We were walking behind her, our steps seeming too loud for the empty and quiet hallways. Everyone was asleep now.

When at last reaching our destination, Jill looked at me with those gorgeous eyes of hers. '_Well, here we go', _they said. As soon as the door opened a hysterical laugh erupted from my lips. Eddie Castile was standing in the middle of the room, soaked from head to toe. He tried to wrench the water out of his sleeves as best as he could without taking his sweater off, when we entered the room.

Upon hearing us enter (it wasn't really difficult, what with the noise I was making), the dhampir bowed and then gave me a grim glance. _Boy, he must be really pissed at me._ I decided to break the ice. "_So_…what the hell happened to you?"

He gave me a harsh response. "Something that was your fault, for starters."

Jill sighed and silenced him. "_Eddie._ I told you, I did it by my own will. Adrian had no part of this." She turned to me. "I froze him to the wall…"

"You _froze_ him? How were you able to do that?"

She shrugged. "No idea. I've been able to move water, yes. But never like Mia. And yet, I just froze him. Probably the adrenaline, I guess."

"Man, you're incredible."

"Herm, herm!" Lissa cleared her throat. It grew silent at once. I knew it was coming now. The moment Jill and I had feared: the moment we would get caught. I could feel Jill distance herself from me towards Eddie, which made me a bit irate. Lissa saw it all and I could see a heavy sigh coming.

"What is going _on_ here?", she asked in a sad voice. "Will you please talk to me? Jill?"

Jill jerked a bit at the mention of her name being uttered by her half-sister. "Yes, your highness?"

"I guess I'll just get straight to the point. Are you and Adrian dating? And don't lie. It's felony to lie to the queen."

"What the hell, Lissa? She's your sister. Speak to her as one. "

"Lord Ivashkov, you realise you're speaking to the queen, don't you?"

"Shut it, Castile. This is none of your business."

"ENOUGH!" Lissa burst out. You could see a panicked look in her eyes as she glanced over the room. Strands of golden hair were out of her ponytail and on plastered on her face. Dark rings under her eyes. I had never actually seen Lissa looking like this. She was usually flawless head-to-foot. The situation must be affecting her more than I had thought.

"Lissa, are you okay?" I asked.

She looked at me, eyebrows pulled desperately together. "I'm fine. But this is too much, Adrian! I had to practically have you confined, because you're unstable and now I find out that you have a _fifteen_ year old on your hook? And if the court found out about this, they would crush me. How am I _supposed_ to react?"

"Lissa…Lissa, I'm so sorry." Jill apologized. "But-"

"Jill, please. I can't worry about this right now. Adrian has to get better first. Then we'll talk. For now, you are forbidden to see him. Eddie, could you take him to his room, please."

"Of course, your highness."

"But, Lissa! He can't be alone, that would do just the opposite. You can't take him if he doesn't want to!"

"Jill, the queen has spoken. Move over." , Eddie told her as he gently tried to tug her to the side.

I felt my body grow numb. What the hell was I to do? It was obvious that Lissa would never let me and Jill to be together. Lissa would be perfectly able to send Jill off to school while keeping me away for everybody else's safety. And she would probably be able to keep her away from me too…

"Eddie! You can't seriously mean that you think that she's right, do you? "

"Jill, _you _can't seriously mean that you can't see things from my perspective?" Lissa interrupted. "My little sister, who's only fifteen, is going out with a twenty-one year old."

"I know it will affect your reputation, but you _know_ Adrian!"

"Yes, I know Adrian. Which is why-"

I heard all that they were saying. But it was all becoming a blur. My head started spinning and I realised that I was in a desperate need of sleep. So, what did I do? I collapsed of course. As I started to drift off, I could hear the cries from the two moroi girls. I wanted to tell them that it was okay, I was just tired. Then all was turning black and I started dreaming…

~o~0~o~

**A/N The struggle for their love begins! Hope Lissa sees reason. She seems to be bothered by something, though…Adrian's got new powers!**

**For more chapters: Review, please!**


	11. Adrian and the message

A/N: Hi, everyone! I want to thank you for all of your reviews and support, and hope you'll continue. Even with Bloodlines coming out I really hope you'll continue to read my fanfic And if you have read Bloodlines, could you tell me if it met up with your expectations? I want to read it, but I'm sure I would miss Rose and Dimitri too much. Even with Adrian being there to fill the gap, I'm not quite confident it would make up for the absence of everyone else as well. Anyway, enjoy and R & R!

/ Primrue

P.S I can't believe I forgot Robert's last name is Doru in the previous chapter and not Dashkov…Sorry!

~o~0~o~

_The place seemed familiar.__ '_It's here at Court'_, I realized with a start. I recognized the brick walls, the old statues and the ancient looking buildings. The only thing that made it different was the lack of people. No people running around gossiping or discussing politics. Not even as much as a servant was to be seen. Only the rustle of surrounding trees was giving a sound, something that calmed me. In a weird way it didn't make me feel quite as alone as I could have._

_I made myself take a few steps forward.' _Okay, new power. Bring it! I'm prepared this time.' _I challenged._

_And my powers answered me immediately. I'd never seen anyonything so scary in my life. Even Rose without sugar in her system couldn't make me shiver in the way this person did. His eyes looked dead and empty, just as his footsteps sounded. The plants around him instantly decayed where he passed, giving him an even more sinister appearance, if possible, than before. _

_With each step he was getting closer and as I desperately tried to move, I found that my feet were stuck to the ground. Panic rose inside of me. Even if this happened to be a dream it still felt extremely real. I could almost feel the man's, now raised, hands around my throat. I felt like passing out (which was weird since I reminded myself that I was asleep) and I saw him approaching, and when I realized that he was reaching for someone behind me. I started to turn around, but before I got a glimpse of the person behind me-_

I woke up.

"Hi there, stranger."

I was lying in my own bed with the lights on. My eyes tried to adjust to the brightness and I blinked several times before I saw Rose smiling down at me.

"Hi. Where's-"

"She's on the couch." ,Rose said and pointed toward the couch in the corner of the room where Jill slept. "She was watching you the whole night and dozed off about twenty minutes ago. Lissa wasn't too happy about her being here, though. Their fight was _not_ pretty…"

I recalled our latest encounter and could see how that would be perfectly reasonable. Lissa had gone crazy when she had found out about mine and Jill's relationship. Not spirit-crazy, I suppose. Just stressed-out-crazy…I hoped.

"How are you, little Dhampir?" , I asked. I wasn't ready to get into the whole 'me and Jill' thing so I tried to steer the conversation in a different direction.

Rose looked at me with her dark eyes. I found myself thinking that they were beautiful. I guess some things you couldn't change. No matter how much you loved someone else.

"Fine." , she answered. "I broke my arm in the fall but Lissa fixed it."

"Good. I got pretty beat up myself too, if that helps."

She gave a little laugh. "It does help a bit. _But_, none of that should have had to happen at all." , she said as her smile faltered. "This spirit crap is getting out of hand. Something strange is going on here." I could see how the wheels in her head started spinning. Probably trying to figure out if some evil scheme that may have been put upon us. Evil…

"Rose," I interrupted her thoughts. "I had a new dream."

"What kind of dream?" ,she asked curiously and tried to not look skeptical. She failed.

"A spirit prediction dream. And well, it didn't really tell me much, except that Robert Doru is after someone here at Court. "

She frowned. "I could've told you that much. He's after me, of course. I mean, I killed his brother…" She turned silent and glanced down at the floor. Rose had only defended herself, but it had cost Victor Dashkov his life and now his brother was after revenge. She still felt some kind of guilt, I knew that much. So, I took her hand in mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"You did what you had to do, little Dhampir. "

"Yeah, I know…" She took a deep breath and turned to me. "I've missed talking to you."

Crap. I didn't want it to get emotional. I didn't want to discuss my feelings with Rose. I still felt betrayed by her. Jill had managed to patch some of the messed up pieces within me and had made _me_ want to fix myself on my own as well. But was I ready to forgive Rose? No.

"Well, I _am_ irresistibly handsome and hot and amazing company. So, I'm not that surprised." However, I could still tell the truth. "Though I've missed it too, little Dhampir."

She smiled at that and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "Thank you." It startled me to see how much she really meant it.

There was a tiny snore coming from the couch and both Rose and I couldn't help but laugh. The air felt a bit more relaxed than I ever thought it could be around us ever again. Maybe we had just been meant to be friends. It was never going to be easy, but I think we would manage. At least, until I died from craziness and she was killed by Robert Doru… Happy futures for both of us.

* * *

"Hey, you brought me wine! I would've preferred Vodka, but I think this'll do." , I said as I inspected my gift. Rose rolled her eyes.

"Stop your bitching. You should be glad you're getting anything at all. Now that you're still refusing medication we need something to keep you sane…r. "

"Thank you, for the utter lack of confidence in me. " , I said sarcastically. I opened one of the two wine bottles and started drinking. "Is Jill still with Lissa? I thought she'd be off to college by now."

"I told you. Lissa has postponed her going to college. With everything going on her at Court and Robert Doru-"

"God, I'm beginning to hate that name."

"-she just figured she was needed here."

I nodded. During the last week, the avenging spirit user had been creating damage in Seattle. Several people had gone missing and there were rumors that Strigoi was working for him now. And why wouldn't they? He had managed to get hold of Victor's money, he was powerful (even if not the most clearheaded person) and he wanted to kill the bodyguard of the Queen. Which would make it easier to kill the Queen herself. That kind of thing was sure to be tempting to any power seeking creature, which the Strigoi happened to be.

"But, Jill is still going to school in a week, you know. " ,said Rose.

I stopped chugging down my second bottle of wine and froze. I couldn't go with her, I knew that much. My condition was improving but nonetheless, it was still unstable. The day before the attacks in Seattle, I had had a dream about it and I got the feeling that people started to believe me now. _'All it took was for a few people to die.' ,_ I thought darkly.

If Jill left, I would be alone again. Even if Rose and I were gradually getting back to how we used to be, she had her Russian boy. And Lissa was still not seeing me. Rose had told me she thought the idea of me and her sister as "icky". My mother had visited and I'd made my peace with her. When a woman forgets to put on make-up out of worry for her son, you've got to give her a break. But she wasn't exactly the kind of company I would want around me 24/7.

I wouldn't even have Eddie (not that I wanted to, but still…) who was going to follow Jill to school as her guardian. I'd had a real difficult time not being jealous and accepting that one.

"Her life can't stop because of me." , I said. "It will be good for her to get away from all of this politics and crazy spirit folk."

Rose looked as if though she agreed and gave a teasing smile. "I still get surprised every time you're being mature and making sense."

"Yeah, well, even if it is 'oh so fun' to be crazy, a guy needs to take a break. "

We continued to tease and talk for an hour before Rose had to leave. She said goodbye and told me she'd try to pry Jill away from Lissas grasp before Jill would leave. I thanked her and was yet again alone. My room held nothing exciting to do except for books. Oh wait, had I said books were exciting? I meant that there was nothing exciting to do at all.

Still, I went to the bookshelf after staring at the ceiling for half an hour. There was everything from science to fantasy. I randomly picked one and began to read. Ugh! It was a western novel! I put it back and gave up the search for a good book. Instead I decided to draw.

I let my hands move gracefully over the paper. A forest appeared and soon thereafter a wonderful, orange sky with a glowing, red sun. I felt more peaceful than I had done in a long time and was startled when I felt something touch my mind.

'_Who's there?'__, _I demanded_._

No answer.

Suddenly my hands started to move by themselves as my mind was taken over by someone else. It felt like the time where I'd attacked Rose, but this time it was ten times stronger. The red pen I was holding, rapidly and furiously spelled out a sentence. When my mind was once again my own I stared at my paper and knew that only one person could've done this.

I decided to go to Lissa and took with me the paper that with red, huge letters held the message:

_"I will kill you all."_

~o~0~o~


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